Childhood Friend of Skateboard Persuassion

We meet on North Avenue

Again

It is the same

there is no enthusiasm
no expectations

You don't talk until we are in the car,
except for the statement, to which I agreed,
"no one is dancing. it's like they are against having a good time."

I wonder about this.
Is it to look cool, to appear cool?
Serious-club-mugged up on the street -fest?

The mugging part of the night doesn't come until later.

I am talking about people who get dressed up, go out and don't have fun.
Is their idea of having fun pretending to not have fun?
To be too serious to shake their knees out from under
the office-desk or the hipsterville bathroom haircut or the thrift store-looking-internet shirt for
forty-five seconds to have a galavanting-high-falootin'-let-loose-the goose-caboose-good time?

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me throw Starbucks' chairs.

Humph.
Pah.

I like to Fake-Hate
And then laugh hysterically about it.
I like to Boca-bitch and see how seriously someone reacts.
But if it doesn't include dancing and laughing hysterically

and then sex, perhaps

I can't jive with it.

Lamers.

Year-old-condom-carryin'-no-talkin'-no-jokin'-lap-top-totin'-wanna-be-junkie-aspiring-no-go-getting-cocaine heads at the art bar.

Lameoid limp dicks.

Ha ha.

Anyway. So, after protestations about "why people aren't dancing" and lots of other theories and revellings of the past, we walked across the yellow bridge.

And at the end of the evening, my conclusion was that "lying is fun," by the way, but I am not done telling this story, so hold on for a minute while i get to the point.

You said, as you carried your skateboard across the yellow bridge, that it was the "mugging part of the evening" and that was one of the reasons you carried your skateboard because you don't actually ride it.
You haven't had the courage to get onto it.

You are scared of getting hurt.

In the car, as I drive you home, you tell me about being ejected from the sky-diving club.
It appears this is a nation-wide clique to which you rubbed some members the wrong way
because one of them thought you stole their five dollar wallet with five dollars in it

and why would you steal a five dollar wallet, and then give it back?
It goes against the whole idea of stealing

when you admit to the mistake of picking up an identical wallet,

it was identical to yours, and as you did laundry, you just happened to pocket both wallets.

At this point, I checked my purse to make sure that my wallet was still intact
because as entertaining as the story was, I have always held the belief that
I should NEVER trust anyone who says they are honest.

You got out of my car at your house.

And as I turned my head, I predicted what I would see.

You

cooly and calmly

and almost professionally

glided gracefully southward down the street

atop your skateboard of fear.