i am SPAGHETTI

She eats Kosher candy because it was half price at the grocery store.

She wishes there was one cylinder made of fire retardant paper filled with tobacco stashed
somewhere in the drawer. She saw married men looking at her when she walked briskly, alone into the store. The fast pace would not be kept if there were someone attached to her hip, like those two skinny kids at school. Every time she sees them she is certain the little scrap of a boy must be strangling her during sex or something like that and Must be checking her phone for unfamiliar text messages from unfamiliar numbers. Just an observation, but, it makes her glad not to be in either of these two types of relationships.

Fucking husbands looking longingly at the first woman who walks by.
( not fucking wife enough... if he fucked his wife more times per day... she wouldn't be so fat )
Yes, your wife is fat.
Because you let her get that way.
You bored her to death so she started eating too much.

It's not a big mystery. She wears your mental illness like a fat suit.

It is a pretend-conversation with the men who look at her. She really doesn't say these cruel things, although she knows there is truth to it. There is nothing wrong with any of those people, probably. Everything is fine, maybe. She judges them and makes pretend-speeches in her mind, on her pretend-soap box where someone who cares is listening. She wonders if the speeches might start slipping out as she gets older because she already mumbles to herself and it may only be a matter of time.

She buys a red bra with cherries on it and pink panties to match.

She goes home after making fruitful demands for perfume samples at the mall.


She sits in the bathtub, after putting olive oil into the water.
The water is hot enough that her first thought upon sitting in it is,


" I AM SPAGHETTI "

She says it out loud. She yells it as an immediate reaction to the temperature.

What do the neighbors think?


The neighbors don't matter to her, but sometimes she is curious about their perspective.

She talks a lot for someone who lives alone.


to be continued...
Motive is not important. Finding the truth is not important.

Being the truth is what she stands for.

And if truth is spaghetti, so be it.