I came out of the closet.

I totally came out of the closet to my mom when I was 26.  I came out of the closet.
And no one believed me.

No one.

Now I have a different thing that people can make fun of me for or not believe me or call me silly for.
In fact, 2 different things.

And you'll never know until we're close friends and/or you thoroughly examine my book collection.

Everyone has been missing for four months.
Amanda said she was hanging Xmas lights outside all day for Jay's mom.

So, like, now, code word for 'you're an asshole and no one wants to answer your call or texts' is that 'I was out hanging Xmas lights and also my phone died.'