Jonah and the Whale?

I woke up on Saturday and I was glad the rapture didn't happen, I guess.
But, guess what. I had the date wrong. It's this Saturday the rapture is supposed to happen. And all the good people are going to get sucked up into God's blow hole ( because God is a huge whale in space... duh)

So anyway, that has not happened YET. And I'm not sure what my plans are on Saturday.

I have a menial job, but at least I have health insurance so that if I hit my head on something while I'm going up the vacuum tube, I can recuperate in the hospital with a five dollar tylenol. In fact, I have excellent health insurance, so if I'm lucky enough, I'll get a vaccine for zombie bites since the other side effect of the rapture is that the dead walk the earth. I mean, Jesus. Really? I have to worry about this?

Probably not.

I'm having my coffee and vitamin B. I'm going to fight child abuse today. And I'm also going to work late, late hours today. I won't fail. Today will be a success. I'm drinking out of a cup that says 'Princess'. I won't ask too many questions. I'll stand up for myself if I need to.

That's all I have time for now.