Jean Genet

"At night I often stay awake. I am the sentinel at the gate of the sleep of others, whose master I am. I am the spirit that hovers above the shapeless mass of dream..."

Jean Genet

Grass Roots

I tried to fight obesity on grass roots level today by bringing diet sodas to my friends at work. They hated the idea.

Having Thin

Stomping into a bowl of gelato
Angry and fat
Sweat is dread
Spandex is elastic and always fits
Having thin

The-Two-Day-Parker

From The Boyfriends and Friend Boys Series

The-Two-Day-Parker

When he said he wanted to see me on my actual birthday, I was horrified.  What did that mean for where we were headed?  Was I being captured?  Was this guy trying to wife me?

I flashed back to our first date the previous month.  It was rainy, I didn’t want to do anything but go home.  We met at chipotle and went to a comedy show.  At the end of the night, I was deciphering whether or not to go to the dance club.  I was also deciding if I did go, if I would want to take him. 

I said, “where is your car?”  Once we established that he had parked in the garage, I asked how long he had and what time the garage closed.

It closed at midnight and it was 11:00pm.  I looked worriedly at him and said that he should move it to the street if we are going to the dance party, and I was hoping we could both drive, furthermore because I wasn’t sure about this guy.

Then he said the strangest thing.  And I was alarmed.

He said that he had paid for two days. 

I am sure there was some explanation, like a reasonable price, but if not, 

that was presumptuous of him!  I looked at him and he could tell that I was concerned because I hadn’t decided if I wanted to sleep with him and even if I did, I am the type of person who will kick a guy out at four in the morning because I can’t get comfortable with a stranger in my bed.  It’s rare that I can actually sleep next to someone in the same bed.  I didn’t want to get into THAT conversation at all because even if I didn’t like him, I couldn’t possibly reveal how much of a neurotic freak I am on the first date.  That’s privileged information. 

Then another thought occurred.

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How many dates did he have in Baltimore that weekend?  He drove a half hour possibly an hour to get to our date.  Maybe he didn’t want to drive home. We’ll never know.  It could have been possible that he had an already established booty call nearby, hence the parked car.   

April 2014

Selfish Heartless

Cowardly and Crummy.
Pettiness.
Cheapness.
I hate that. 

Meditate on This

https://goo.gl/photos/EbGGdjqFJQAakZyg7

I was never taught by the priests in the Netflix story.

I was never taught by the priests in the Netflix story. Two of my teachers left seminary never to return again (which sent me a CLEAR message). One of my teachers, Father Martin, remained a priest until he died. I sat by his casket for at least a half an hour expecting him to wake up and say one last joke for me. All three taught me lessons about TRUE FAITH that I will always carry with me. They taught me about forgiveness and that I was first always to forgive myself. The idea that one of the characters so close to my circle of friends was the first to have the courage to speak up and that his information was not acted upon with due diligence made me whimper out loud. And to read this, below, I am not surprised. It goes to show that if you are able to escape abuse you are like a little lamb guided away from danger by nothing but the wind sometimes. It is never your fault if a wolf puts its teeth around your neck. "It is important to note that none of the accusations were brought to light before Magnus died. So, he went on to lead a normal life following the alleged abuse and there is relatively little information about him online. After leaving Keough, in August 1982, he became the principal of Towson Catholic High School before eventually passing away in 1988." https://www.bustle.com/p/what-happened-to-father-neil-magnus-the-keepers-priest-went-on-to-serve-at-another-school-58951